You know what I need? I need more self-confidence. I need so much self-confidence that I just ooze assurance from my every pore, that people look at me and think Wow, she's obviously a highly intelligent, capable and, confident person; wouldn't want to mess with her. I feel that I don't represent myself properly, that I allow myself to be too easily intimidated, that I am unnecessarily modest and unassuming.

My problem is not necessarily that I lack confidence in my ability, it's that I feel that I don't project that confidence onto other people, you know? I feel that I should be a bit brasher and less diffident. Because a hell of a lot of people who are not as smart or capable as me (and I'm really not trying to be arrogant here) are getting more attention and more benefits and perks than me because they're louder and more extroverted and make themselves noticed. I want to be noticed too. I want to stand out and to make an impact and all that stuff too.

I don't know. I think I'm just in a mood right now. Most of the time I'm fine, and I'm comfortable with myelf and my life, but every now and then a mood hits me and I feel really inadequate and useless and pointless. But I know that if I wait it out, it'll go away in a little while, and I'll start to feel a bit more together. So I'm just trying not to get bogged down in self-pity right now. I really don't like being self-pitying.